fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
