After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
