Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Just cropdusted the office
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
