I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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