all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
