I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
