Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
