Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
