Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
