i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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