Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
