Do you still have your period?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
as a side note pls kill me
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize