You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
