I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
