I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He did a backflip because drugs
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
