I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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