I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You are a genius and a whore.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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