We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
