so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
These tits shall not be calmed
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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