Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
