I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
