When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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