I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
