Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
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