Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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