You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i just google imaged poop.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
