Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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