My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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