So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
