just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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