Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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