oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize