Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
