Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
