We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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