Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
