Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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