Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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