Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize