You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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