somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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