okay pat passed out under dana's car
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
