3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
