it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
