so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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