i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
