Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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