i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
