My nipple is on Facebook.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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