I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
