HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
