Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
