my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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