Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
