chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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