talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
