He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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