my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
