the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
