Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
